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Posted by Jeevan Sivasubramaniam, Managing Director, Editorial, Berrett-Koehler Publishers Inc.
Marcia Reynolds has researched and studied extensively about high-achieving women and their ways of thinking and reacting to various scenarios. She's also noticed that there are certain erroneous assumptions that many successful and smart women make that can create a hefty brain-lock cycle from which is it very difficult to escape.
As an exclusive to this blog, Marcia Reynolds presents below five core assumptions that lock women into rigid perfectionist patterns:
Assumption #1: There is a right answer and it is mine
If you are the best and the one who knows, then you have an answer for every question about things that are important to you. No one dares to disagree. Always being right not only hurts your relationships, it is a heavy responsibility to bear.
Assumption #2: Everything is up to me
Things will spin out of control or fail if they aren’t done by you. As a result, you will overwork, take on too many projects, and resist sharing your work with anyone else.
Assumption #3: I will always be disappointed
Whether it's a job or a relationship, you start out excited about the possibilities, then you feel let down. This is due to the unreasonable standards you set up which no job or relationship can meet in the long run. The truth is, this behavior gives you an exit door so you never have to commit to ironing out your problems. If you don’t release your attachment to disappointment, you will always focus on what is wrong.
Assumption #4: I don't need help
You are a strong, smart woman so you don't need anyone to help you succeed. You can figure it out on your own. Unfortunately, this assumption is a horrible waste of your precious time. Letting other people help you is more efficient, it builds relationships, and you look stronger as a leader.
Assumption #5: I have to be great at everything I do
For the first time in history, women are brought up to believe we can do anything. To make up for lost time, this message is being delivered with a vengance. As a result, girls interpret the words to mean, "I must be great at anything I choose." As they mature, the greater their knowledge and experiences, the heavier is the "burden of greatness." When one accomplishment is complete, they quickly search for the next great thing to conquer. As a result, they restlessly wander with no clear purpose. This realization launched the idea for my research and the book, Wander Woman.
Thoughts? Responses? Suggestions? Ideas?